Three-Sided Football Takes On Quantum Physics


On the 26th July 8 AP, two days before the dawning of the Proletarian New Year, the Luther Blissett Deptford League celebrated the occasion by organising a special, one-off exhibition match again a team of quantum physicists.

Practitioners of the dark arts of quantum mechanics have become increasingly interested in three-sided football of late, in the wake of SOF’s successful psychic attack on the Imperial Omphalos last November, and particularly following their stretching of the Greenwich Meridian, during the First Quantum Flux Footballum Equinox Fest in March.

This particular game saw the quantum physicists’ team of the New Scientists take on the Anti-Scientists (a veritable Bauhaus of designers) and the Dada Scientists (a lumpen mix), one balmy summer’s evening in New Cross. The game also occasioned the revival of the famed 30m hex of early LBDL matches; with teams of eight per side, it was thus also in direct contravention of Dunbar’s Bell-Curve, something that certainly made for a lively clash! The game ended in victory for the professionally-drilled Anti-Scientists, for whom extensive strategising and a slick new kit undoubtedly paid off. The motley band of assorted Situlogists and ‘Pataphysicians thrown together at the last minute as the Dada Scientists celebrated their namesake movement’s centenary by coming a respectable second. The quantum physicians of the New Scientists, however, clearly still have a lot to learn about quantum chromodynamics, trailing a sorry third after mixing up their tactics and failing to ally with the Dada squad to prevent the Anti-Scientists pulling into an unassailable lead.



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