The Construction of a Cyclotron Accelerator in an abandoned school, Dreverna, Lithuania (2017 vulg.). Built to harness the planetary conjunction of Earth, Ceres and Mercury.

Operatives of Strategic Optimism Football recently joined forces with agents of FIASCo and DAMTP to construct a Cyclotron Accelerator in an abandoned school in Dreverna, Lithuania (2017 vulg.), just across the lagoon from the Baltic Sea. Built to harness the planetary conjunction of Earth, Ceres and Mercury, the machine was an resounding success, despite some issues with quantum gravity persistently buckling one of the back wheels. Nevertheless, it successfully drew together a powerful vortex of players for the conjunction game, which passed off delightfully.

Prior to this, successful experimental games of Wandsworth Rules 3SF and a Large Hadron Supernova game had likewise been carried out successfully. In addition, there was also a midnight parade, conducted to honour the achievements of the great engineers and scientists who had given their energy so splendidly in this endeavour.

 

In a bizarre twist, some players were rather spooked by suggestions that the cyclotron succeeded in opening up a momentary wormhole, at the exact moment of the conjunction. At that precise moment, around midnight local time, a car pulled up and three men got out. They walked, in silence, over to the site of the cyclotron, abandoned as it was on a local basketball court. Still in silence, they took out a basketball, shot one hoop, turned around and walked away. Without a word, they got back into their car and drove off. Aside from this being evidence of a brief spatiotemporal slippage, no other theories have as yet been forthcoming as an explanation for these bizarre events.

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